It's over now...

Ryan and I are no longer talking for good. We havent talk in a week and a half, as those of you who read my journal know. And... you may also have seen the shitty comments that he leaves and then totally denies. Well, when I blocked all comments from coming in... all of a sudden he unblocks me from IMing him and starts talking to me. If that doesn't give it away, I don't know what does. He basically told me he doesnt get what happened.. and I guess I don't entirely get it either. I just know that he was done and so am I... so why change that. I told him I wasn't over it, and then he said "me neither" until I told him that I meant I was that I wasn't over the hurtful things that he said to me. *sigh*. It's just... you don't call someone fat, and too tall, and ugly, and "a dime a dozen" and say it was to spite another person. You just... don't. I can't forgive someone who would do that. I told him he only wants to talk to me because I don't want to talk to him. It's all about control over me, and that's all it has ever been. It isn't about how he feels about me, it's about how I DON'T feel about him. And I don't want to feel anything for him. I won't miss him, because what is the point? That is what he wants. I am numb to him. It's going to be like he never existed... because that is easier. It will be easy for him too, girls like me are all over according to him... so he can get out there and swoop one right up. I know I might not be the most responsible person, or the smartest, but I know I have a great heart. When someone respects me, I devote myself to them. Ryan will never find someone to put up with as much as I did... and no one will ever love him the way I did either. I have a great heart... and he will never get another peice of it.

On a happier note.. a lot of stuff is going on right now that I am really excited about. My dad started up his business again and it's already going pretty well. I've also been talking to Jarrett a lot too... and so many good things are happening to him right now that is really exciting. He is such a sweetie. He told me I was beautiful :) and badass... *teehee* SWEET! Ummm... I also... even though its been done for a couple of days... am REALLY proud of my Brand New purse I made. Haha. It's so cool! AND SPRING BREAK IS ALMOST HERE! OMG! YES! I'm happy. mmmmmmmm.... Melissa, I miss our lime-aide that tastes like bad breathe. lol. Haha. Love you doll. Byebye for now everyone.